Goodbye, Grandpa

I always thought saying someone "passed away" was too soft. Too casual and apathetic, as if nothing really happened.

But after my grandfather passed -- two nights ago -- I couldn't bring myself to use the d-word. It was unreal. I didn't know how to accept it.

When I was young, my father would say, "When you meet grandpa, he's going to take one look at you and faint because you're so beautiful!" I would laugh and laugh. I didn't know I would never get the chance to meet him.

My grandparents lived in New York, and they were extremely religious. They were not happy with my father's decision to become nonreligious. They didn't approve of his Chinese wife.

But still, I loved them. And grandfather was always telling me to keep up the good work in school. (I would have to yell back at him over the phone because of his bad hearing.)

As a teenager I realized that I would probably never get to talk with him in person. The sea of religious differences would be difficult to cross.

Regret.

We make life short, make excuses for living, for taking risks, for visiting the people we love.

Goodbye, grandpa; hope to see you in my dreams!

Caring

Yesterday the oceans swallowed the mountains. They covered the earth and the people and animals. Only did the moon and the stars, who pitied the earth and hoped for everlasting unity, stay dry. Underwater, boundaries were washed away. We swam as we pleased, exploring and intermixing. There was no use for guns or television or Facebook. People and animals spent time together, and didn't judge each other. They couldn't, for everyone looked pretty silly underwater. Those who had disrespected the land and harmed their neighbors asked (themselves) for forgiveness, and were forgiven (by themselves). And then the moon and the stars performed a pleasant duet, and the oceans released us.

The Seasons Change

It's beautiful out, he exclaimed, as he took a sip of hot chocolate. Adriella looked at him with big bright eyes and smiled. It was early, and the birds were beginning to wake. There were few passing cars, and the air was fresh and cold. Adriella pulled her scarf close and shivered. You cold? he asked. She glanced out the window and back at him. I'll be fine, she said with a smile. He flashed back a grin, put his cup down, and planted a wet kiss on her forehead. He told her that while winter may be over, the seasons will change and come back again. And with that, and another kiss, he took off. He didn't want to miss his flight back to Korea.

A Light Feather

when the song comes on
i remember your face
and the last time
of our embrace
it happened so fast
like a dream
our lips were locked
but what did that mean?
my eyelids closed
and i held you near
but my last experience
gave reason to fear
you were so beautiful
in the light, in the dark
and when we kissed
i felt a spark
time has passed
the feelings are now gone
we gain and lose interest
from dusk to dawn

Simple Bliss

Late afternoon
Looking out the blinds
Gray and purple sky
Smoke rising from a chimney
Giant Douglas Fir trees
Quiet and calm atmosphere
Light music playing
Chatting with friends
Wearing yoga pants and a large shirt
The smell of sweet pear
Grateful for where I am
And all who are near